Author Archives: Shari

It’s been 2 weeks of freedom and it’s been so very hard. My children miss their father and he has come to see them. In those visits I’ve noticed that after he has left my children show the same attitude and anger they had before he moved out. It’s put me in a hard spot because either way my children are hurting but at least this way he’s not around all the time putting them down and making them cry. I was a stay at home mom while I was with him and now am searching for a job. I just found a bus driver job and am very excited about it. It’s my first taste of independence and I am happy for this stp forward. Learning to create a new budget for my family and start new routines has been a challenge but very rewarding. Right now the hardest part is relearning to love myself and to help my son who was another target of his fathers narcissistic abuse that he is loved although he is a child the wounds run deep for him. I think I will need to find some counseling for him and hopefully he will come out of this less harmed then he is right now

As I sit here wide awake thinking about the last 24 hours. I can’t help but focus on the massive change in my homes atmosphere. My home almost feels empty even though my 2 children and myself are still here. His presence overtook the home. He had us all walking on eggshells and vibrating in stress and anxiety. Without him here and the 3 of us being able to relax and feel safe it has made the house feel empty. All the suffocating angry energy left with him and we can finally breathe. I can’t believe how quiet the house feels how calm it feels. Yes I know that I still double locked the door and keep checking all night but I believe that will pass. The weight of worry and stress that has dropped off my back makes me feel 300lbs lighter. I am finally excited for the mornings and for evenings spent playing with my kids. Evenings full of love laughter and happiness. Evenings that I don’t have to shush the kids and worry if their playing will get you angry. I know we have a long road ahead but it is going to be a bright and beautiful journey.